New chapter part 3

And here is the last part of the update. Hopefully I will have the next part written soon. What do you think is going to happen? You'll just have to wait to find out.

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“So why not drop him and go after this new guy,” Sam asked. “It seems like he is interested in you. And he’s much cuter in my opinion.”

“Honestly, I am a little shocked that he even knows my name,” Hannah replied. “Like Mika said, we didn’t really talk to him that much.” She paused then started to blush. “Actually until now I could have sworn he was gay.”

“Oh god,” Sam moaned and buried her face in her hands, sending Mika into another laughing fit. “Do I even want to know why you thought he was gay?”

“Because we saw him kissing a couple of guys. We haven’t figured out if he is gay, bi, or a host that serves male clients.”

The table fell silent. Sam looked back and forth between the two women in disbelief then threw her hands up in the air. “Really?! Why can’t you find a normal guy to crush on?!”

“Wait, wait! I’m not crushing on Ryuusuke,” Hannah protested..

“Nope but it looks like he is crushing on you.” Sam closed her eyes and started rubbing her temples. “At the moment your romantic interests are a former bartender who is dumber than a box of rocks and a possibly bi male host. You’d have been better off going after a student. It’d be dangerous but less headache inducing.”

“Okay, okay,” Mika interjected. “Enough bashing to poor girl. Let’s get back to the original question: what are you going to do?”

Hannah sat there in silence for a few minutes then suddenly snapped her fingers. “Got it. Mika, you have Ryuusuke’s email right? Can I have it to send him a message?”

“That’s right I do! Damn, if I knew he could be a carn I would have mailed him more often.” She passed her phone over to the other girl. “So what are you going to say?”

After quickly typing up and sending the mail, Hannah threw a devilish grin to her friends. “I decided to test his English skills by sending him a message that said ‘What the hell was that?’”

“Again: and you wonder why you’re still single?” Sam threw out.

“Yeah yeah, I know . Turning down men who throw themselves at you is a stupid thing to do,” Hannah said as she rolled her eyes. “But I suspect he was drunk and probably won’t reply until tomorrow. And by that point he won’t remember what…..wow that was fast!”

Hannah was interrupted by her phone signaling it received a message. Slightly nervous, Hannah slipped it open, read the message, and promptly threw the phone down onto the table. “That’s it. I hate men.”

Mika and Sam shared a look and then lunged forward to pick up the discarded phone. What could he have said that would cause that kind of reaction?

[I think in English it is called a ‘kiss’. I can show it to you again if you want. ;P

Haha. Mamoru always said you were so innocent but I never believed him.

Guess he was right. It is kind of hot. Maybe I’ll be your ‘bad boy. ^_-]

“Umm Hannah,” Mika asked as she looked up from the email. “If you don’t want Ryuusuke, can I take him? Because with mails like this he can be ‘my bad boy’ any day.”

“If you don’t take him, I’ll hit you,” Sam added. “It would be so stupid, and you’d deserve the box of rocks you’d get.”

New chapter part 2

I hope you enjoyed part 1. Part 2 is here and is waiting to be read! Please enjoy~

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Mika lost it. Tears ran down her cheeks as her face slowly turned red from laughing so hard. Sam just stared at her co-worker in disbelief.

“Really?!” She said as she glared at the woman sitting across from her. “You were just kissed by a friend of the guy you liked for over a year. The same guy whose current goal is to get you to fall back in love with him in the next 3 months, and all you can comment on is his English ability!”

The longer Sam talked, the higher her voice got until it had a hysterical quality to it.

A reddish hue stained Hannah’s cheeks.

“Well,” she began as her cheek continued to redden. “I almost said ‘now we know he is not a complete herbivore’, but the English comment slipped out first.”

Apparently two of them were going to die tonight because Sam looked like she was going to stab Hannah with one of her chopsticks while Mika was hunched over muttering “I can’t breathe” in between laughing fits.

“You two are crazy,” Sam muttered with a shake of her head.

“But you love us anyways,” Mika chirped cheerfully. She turned to Hannah and a devious grin slipped onto her face. “So what did he whisper to you,” she asked as she propped by her head on her hand. “With how shocked you looked, it must have been hot.”

Hannah shook her head. “Not so much hot as unexpected. He asked me to choose him over Mamoru because he is ‘better for me.’”

The stunned look on the other women’s faces was becoming the theme of the night.

“Wow,” Mika finally said. “Didn’t know he had it in him.” Out of all the guys there, I think he is the one we had the least contact with.”

“I know right!”

“So what are you going to do?” Sam interrupted before the two friends could get way of track. “Are you going to take him up on the offer?”

“I don’t know.” Resting her head on her folded arms, Hannah let her eyes slip shut. “I’m not sure what I feel about either guy at the moment.

There is Mamoru, the first guy I’ve been seriously interested in. For awhile I had fantasies of us being happy in a long-term relationship. But I know now that fantasies are all they’ll ever be. So I tried to move on. “

“Makes sense.”

“But after his recent confession and self-imposed challenge, I don’t know what to think. I want to believe that he really does love me and that the last year and a half haven’t been a waste. But..” Hannah sighed and sat back up. “I don’t know if I can trust him.”

Mika nodded in agreement. “Yeah. He doesn’t have the greatest track record when it comes to sticking to his word.”

“I also am afraid it is temporary,” Hannah added. “He is interested in me now, but the minute he gets me, there is the chance he’ll lose interested. I mean that is true for all relationships, but I am almost expecting him to do it.”

New chapter part 1

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

So i have updated my story, but unfortunately it is part of a different chapter; just following the inspiration. Good news is that a new character is introduced, and a new twist is added to the story. Please enjoy!

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Suddenly Ryuusuke grabbed Hannah’s wrist and pulled her into a kiss.

A thousand thoughts ran through her head all at once.

[Ryuusuke just stole my first kiss! I didn’t even know he could be so bold….Mamoru is going to kill us. I know he said that since we are not a couple, he’s alright with me seeing other people, but I am sure he didn’t mean his best friend! Although Ryuusuke is the one who kissed me. But I am not pulling away. Wait! This is my first kiss! Shouldn’t I be focusing on it instead of worry about Mamoru?]

After what felt like hours but was actually only seconds, Ryuusuke pulled back. There was a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but he quickly hid it behind a smirk.

Leaning forward so his lips were near her ear, he softly whispered in English: “Forget about Mamoru. I am better for you.”

Hannah’s eyes widened and her entire body was frozen with shock. [What the hell…] she thought. [When did Ryuusuke even show any interest in me?]

Her mouth opened and closed several times but she was unable to get any words out, causing Ryuusuke’s smirk to widen. Tilting his head to the side he placed a small kiss to her cheek. “Think about it,” he yelled over his shoulder as he walked out of the restaurant.

Hannah could feel her friends’ eyes on her back. Slowly she forced herself to turn around and face them. Sam’s jaw was almost touching the table with how low it had dropped. And although she managed to keep her mouth closed, Mika wasn’t much better. She looked like she didn’t know whether to laugh or shake her head in pity. She quickly settled on ordering another round of drinks for the three of them.

Sliding into her seat, Hannah silently accepted the drink placed in front of her and just stared at it for a few minutes. Finally, she looked up at Mika and said “I didn’t know he could speak English so well.”

Part 9

Here is part 9. This time it is from Mamoru's PoV. As always, keep in mind it is a rough draft, so it needs some editing. #^^#. If you have questions or comments, let me know!

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Still crouching at her feet, Mamoru felt himself slipping deeper into his own thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he could never understand this girl. Oh, he was able to understand every word that she was saying, but because of the grammar or cultural implication, he can’t understand what she is trying to say. It is frustrating. The only part of the conversation that he completely understood was that he was being rejected.

I should have expected that, he thought. I turned her down once before, and what girl would want to date a man after he’s already told her that they can only be friends?

Suddenly it hit him. This must be how Hannah felt after I brushed off her feelings when she confessed.

Guilt gnawed at his stomach. Although it has been over a year now, Mamoru still remembers that night very clearly: how nervous she was as she slid the small envelop across the bar; the wave of shock that crashed over him as he read over her confession, and the strange mixture of fear and admiration as he considered how long it must have taken her to write the letter in both English and Japanese.

Thinking back on it, he regrets how he handled everything. He should have spoken to her in person or at least checked on her later on to make sure she was truly comfortable with the results. But the entire situation made Mamoru a little uncomfortable; it wasn’t something he could just laugh off, and direct confrontation is something he has always tried to avoid. So when he saw her looking so cheerful and upbeat the next time they met, he assumed everything was okay between them. After all, Hannah did say she would understand no matter what his response was. Not to mention she is America, and Americans are strong and can handle everything, right?

Looking at the tears and the broken expression on her face, Mamoru knew that he was wrong. Hannah might be strong, but of course she was affected by what had happened. Who wouldn’t be? But then why didn’t he notice before now?

She must have wanted to keep it a secret from me.

A dull ache formed in his chest. The idea that Hannah felt she couldn’t be honest with him made Mamoru feel sick. Although there have been a few times when she has hurt him, overall this woman has been nothing but kind and supportive since the day the met. And how did he repay her? By making her cry.

I don’t deserve her. It would be best if I just let her go. But the idea of never seeing Hannah made Mamoru nauseous. I should leave her alone. But I can’t imagine my life without her now. I need her. How do I show her how much I care about her? How much I will change for her?

After twisting his hands around so their palms would be touching, Mamoru threaded his fingers with hers.

“Ha-chan,” he whispered softly. “Can we talk after lesson?” His heart broke a little more when she slowly shook her head no; her eyes refusing to meet his.

“Please,” he pleaded. “Just for a few minutes. I must tell you something. Please.” He would never forgive himself if he left for Tokyo without at least trying to fix his relationship with Hannah.

She stayed silent for awhile then sighed. “Okay,” she mumbled. “We can talk. But for 15 minutes only. I’ve haven’t had any lunch or breaks today, so I am tired.”

“Oh, if you are hungry, we can go to…”

“No!” She interrupted. A fierce crept up to her cheeks when she realized how rude she was being. “Sorry but no. Fifteen minutes only. Okay?”

“Okay.” Mamoru was slightly hurt by her refusal, but she did agree to meet him after this, which was very unexpected. So he couldn’t complain too much.

He glanced at the clock then shot up out of his crouch. “Sorry! Time is finished. I should go speak to the secretary.” After gathering his bags, he moved swiftly to the door but paused before opening it.

“Thank you for the lesson,” he said with his back to Hannah. “I will wait for you downstairs.” Then he quietly slipped into the hallway.

Links part 2

Here are the links for the next few sections. Please enjoy! ^^

Part 5: http://brishousetsu.blogspot.com/2012/01/story-part-5.html

Part 6: http://brishousetsu.blogspot.com/2012/01/story-part-6.html

Part 7: http://brishousetsu.blogspot.com/2012/01/story-part-7.html

Part 8: http://brishousetsu.blogspot.com/2012/01/story-part-8.html

Story- part 8

Here is the last part for now~

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“Ha-chan… of course I would miss you. “ Mamoru’s voice was filled with disbelief and anguish. “Why do you think I wouldn’t? You are my best friend.”

Hearing him say those words cut straight through her heart. Every time he called her his best friend, she desperately wanted to believe him. But none of his actions have every shown that he thought of her as a best friend. So what did she believe: his actions or his words?

She lifted her head to look at the man sitting across from her; he no longer looked like the man she first met. Gone was his wild hair and slightly cocky smile. Now he seemed so broken.

Hannah’s resolve was weakening. She could tell the drama from last night affected him as badly as it had affected her. It might be a little twisted, but his distress comforted Hannah; it gave her hope that maybe he everything he said last night was true.

“Last night you said you loved me,” Hannah said slowly. “Today, do you still love me?”

The sound of the clock was deafening as Hannah waited for him reply. Even though he said he meant every word from last night, part of her needed to hear him say that he loved her. She knew that she would never be able to fully move on without some kind of verbal confession or rejection.

Bracing herself for the worst, Hannah glanced up to meet Mamoru’s eyes and felt a shock run through her. The storm of regret and confusion had dissipated and all that was left was confidence with a hint of amusement. Suddenly he looked like the Mamoru that had captured her heart.

Slipping silently out of his chair, Mamoru walked over to her and knelt down.

“Yes,” he said quietly. A small fire started burning deep in Hannah’s soul as he placed both of his hands on her knees. “I do. Before we met, I was happy without you. Now I can’t be happy without you. I need you, Hannah.”

A shudder ran down her spine. Since the day they met, Mamoru never used her full name unless he was explaining to someone why he called her Ha-chan. To hear him finally use it was….exciting.

His words, his touch, his smell. Everything was causing Hannah to rethink last night’s decision. At this very moment she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life living happily with this man.

“What will change?”

Hannah’s blood ran cold. She wanted to tell him that she felt the same way, but her mind rebelled and asked the one question that could cause her to have a great start to a good weekend or a horrible start to a terrible one.

“What?”

A headache was starting to form in the middle of Hannah’s forehead. Why did she have to fall in love with the densest man on Earth? With a soft sigh, she reached down and placed her hands over his. “How will our relationship change?”

“We will be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

The headache started to pound. “Of course we will be boyfriend and girlfriend, Mamoru. But what does that mean? What will change? Will we talk more? Email more? Take trips to visit each other?”

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t,” she muttered softly.”You never know.”

Glancing at the clock, Hannah felt a rush of relief; there was only a few minutes left of the trial. “Oh, we only have a few minutes left. Anything else you want to talk about?”

“Yes. Today, do you still love me?”

Her mouth went dry. Although it was a perfectly logical question after the things that were said last night, Hannah wasn’t expecting him to ask it.

And after everything he just said, she was conflicted. The Mamoru she’s seeing right now is the one she desired for so long. He was the right amount of confident and shy and was saying all the right things.

But how long would this Mamoru stay around. History shows that the kind, attentive, and sweet talking Mamoru would only be around for a little while. After a week or two he always starts to drift away until something scared him into sweet mode once again. What if that pattern didn’t change after they started dating? Hannah could suffer through a hot and cold friendship but not a relationship.

“Yes, I do. But,” she said quickly to stop the excitement growing in his eyes. “I can’t be your girlfriend. I’m sorry.”

Those few words destroyed Mamoru. The confidence in his eyes disappeared as his body slumped forward.

“Wakarani,” he mumbled in Japanese. “Why? I don’t understand.”

“Because you love me today. And you loved me yesterday. But I don’t think you’ll love me next week.” A tear ran down her cheek as her throat closed up. In an effort to reign in her emotions, Hannah squeezed her hands. A jolt went through her when she felts her hands flex around something soft but firm; she forgot that Mamoru’s hands were resting on her knees.

Story- part 7

Part 7

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Stepping out into the hallway, she led Mamoru into the classroom that they were going to be using. Luckily Sam left the classroom when Hannah stepped out a few minutes ago. Motioning to the chair across from hers, the two slid into their seats and stared at each other in silence.

“So, how are you,” Hannah began unsure of what to do. She had never had someone that she knew from a different setting come in for a lesson, let alone someone who she had such a history with.

“Mmm I am so-so,” Mamoru answered, looking a little uncomfortable. “How about you?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she replied as cheerfully as possible.

The tension in the room was almost unbearable. It was clear that the events from last night were fresh on their minds but neither wanted to be the person that brought it up.

To distract herself from the uncomfortableness of the situation, Hannah began shifting through her papers. The feeling of Mamoru’s eyes on her seemed to burn her skin. Even though this was her home turf and she should be calling the shots, she still found herself wanting to fall into the shy customer role.

A shiver ran down her spine as she was struck by a frightening realization: she had turned into the kind of girl she hates. Hannah always said she would never become the kind of woman who let a man turn her life upside down, who let a man make her cry this much. But here she was in heaven one minute and in hell the next with just a few words from this man.

Enough was enough. The games had to stop today.

“Well, since we introduced ourselves a long time ago, I think we can skip that part,” she chirped brightly, but she knew he could tell her cheerfulness was false. “So let’s jump right into the lesson then. I brought a few samples of the different books we use. Hmm, let’s try…”

“Ha-chan,” Mamoru interrupted. “Can we talk?”

Hannah froze. Partially because that is exactly what she did not want to do, but mostly because a small dagger went through her heart when he said her nickname. The nickname that he gave her.

Mentally shaking herself for letting her resolve slip so soon, Hannah pushed the books aside.

“Sure,” she replied with a pained smile. “It is your lesson so we can do whatever you like.”

Mamoru frowned. Slowly his hand stretched across the table to take her hand. “Ha-chan….this isn’t a real lesson. I live in Tokyo now so I can’t come here for….”

“Then why are you here,” she asked bitterly as she jerked her hand away. “I never tried to have a serious conversation while you were working. Sometimes at the bar we talked but always when you were a customer. So why did you come to my work to have this talk?”

The raw pain reflected in his eyes caused Hannah to soften slightly. Even though he had made her cry numerous times since they met, she never wanted to hurt him… for the most part.

Sighing softly, Hannah reached over and set her hand over his.

“I’m sorry,” she said when Mamoru’s eyes finally met hers. “It has been a long day. What do you want to talk about?”

Mamoru stayed silent for a while. A strange look crossed his face; one that was easily recognizable for Hannah. It was the look someone got when they had planned out what they wanted to say, but when the opportunity came up, the words refused to come out.

In an effort to give him a little privacy, Hannah retracted her hand and began to straighten up the table. Since she had no idea what level the trail student would be, she had copied papers from a couple different books. Guess all of this will end up becoming scrap paper. What a waste, she thought mournfully. However, nothing could be done about it; it was obvious that this was going to be a free conversation “trial lesson”.

As more time went by, Hannah’s frustration started to increase. She could have been home by now but instead she was wasting her time with a man who clearly never knows what he wants.

“I am sorry.”

“Huh?” Hannah was dragged out of her thoughts by Mamoru’s voice, “What are you sorry for?”

“For up-setting you last night, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Glancing down at her hands, Hannah nodded. “I know you didn’t. And I am sorry for hurting you.” Hannah forced herself to look up and meet his eyes. “Did you mean what you said? Were you honest last night?”

“Yes, I do care about you.”

“Would you have kept it a secret from me?”

It was Mamoru’s turn to look away. Hannah could guess what the answer would be, but she decided to let him finish his statement this time. She wanted to hear it come from his own mouth; she wanted to get that little bit of closure.

“Before last night I would keep it a secret, “he finally said. He struggled to say what we was thinking, and Hannah couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was based on language ability and how much was him struggling with his emotions.

“But now I would tell you,” he continued. “I need you, Hannah. I haven’t known you for so long, but I will be lonely without you.”

Everything Hannah has planned to say suddenly escaped her as her heart and mind began to battle once again. Her heart was urging her to tell him that she forgave him and will always be with him. But her mind was pushing her to think about this situation logically. And if there was one thing that Hannah was, it was logical.

“Today you say you need me,” she said slowly. She wanted to make sure he understood everything she said, and, to be honest, she was not sure what direction she was taking this conversation.”But what about tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Will you need me then?”

“Of course!”

“Are you sure,” she asked. Hannah could feel herself tearing up but she managed to push back the tears; now wasn’t the time to cry. “I’ve never been sure about our relationship, Mamoru. It has always been complicated. Some days I think we are great friends and will be friends for a long time. Other days I am afraid that if we stopped talking or if I had to leave Japan, you wouldn’t even miss me.”

Hannah looked away as she made this statement. The idea that he could confirm her one of her greatest fears, that she had wasted a year on this man, chilled her to the bone.